http://www.lipscurvesandwords.com

oh. excuse me. but we need to watch my lover. we also need to look to his left at the stage.
hi, its me with my little photo pass and cameras. FROM… his london show. the night i got into england actually. :)
i saw this online last week and nearly pissed myself. it brought back the most perfect memories of that night, that i will NEVER forget.

he’s so beautiful, i could barely think straight when i met him haha.
and now you see how amazingly talented he truly is. this was live, and he blows me away. i can’t even begin to describe what that show was like.
just…. perfect.

so. hi :)
i haven’t written in here in a crazy long time, but its just because i’ve been super focused on britees.
i’m actually wearing my london calling shirt today.

i love it :)
if you haven’t seen the store yet, GO! there are some new designs up, a few reviews online (posted in the blog), and kelly osbourne has even seen them. HOLLA!

some randoms…

once again, my dog thinks she’s human.

i’ve become officially addicted to hbo’s true blood. i’m late in the game, i realize this, but better late than never. it is SO good, and i can’t stop watching back episodes, one after another… its totally affecting my dreams too. oh well.

someone messaged me the other day, and i’m posting this because i’m trying to make a point… which will be at the end of the conversation.
i won’t mention his name… but there’s a reason i’m putting this in here.

him: what ya cookin good lookin?
me: grilled tilapia and sauteed spinach
him: hmm sounds delicious. im gonna make you cook for me one night
me: ha, not a chance
him: why not?!
me: cause i have only ever cooked for boyfriends. my best guy friend hasn’t even had my food
him: ok so we can do something about that ;)
me: not gonna happen, lol i stick to my word
him: no one said we had to break it
me: lol we’re not dating. you are already dating someone.
him: ya but that can be changed
me: no it can’t. if you’re with someone who makes you happy all the time, you shouldn’t be talking to someone else about what could be with them
him: well i can’t help it your a great girl
me: i know i am. you chose not to take a chance, not me.
him: i know we’ve discussed this a thousand times. i’m an idiot. i never said i wasn’t lol
me: i know you aren’t arguing it
him: lol
me: you’ve had two, possibly more, serious gf’s since you and i hooked up. and every single time, you bring this conversation to me. its not my fault you were an idiot.
him: i know its my own fault
me: and every time you do this, they’re either not around, or you’re bored. that doesn’t show me what a great girl i am. that shows me i’m the one you want when its convenient for you.
him: no, thats not true….what it means is that when my mind wanders, it wanders directly to you and nobody else
me: well i’m more than that. and the guy that wants to be with me one day does not have me on his mind when his gf is not around. he has me on his mind all the time.
him: i know you are babe. i wish you lived closer so we could actually hang out and spend some time together
me: it doesnt matter if i lived closer. you have a gf forever, and when i did live closer, i wasn’t what you wanted. so yea.
him: only for the last 6 months
me: 6 months is still longer, and committed, than you ever wanted with me from just hooking up
him: thats not true…listen i was young and naive. i didnt know what i had till it was gone. and i’ve regretted it ever since.
him: you dont have to believe me but its true. im sorry.
me: i never said i didnt believe you. but you couldnt have regretted it that much if i was still in jersey a year ago and you were nowhere to be found.
him: hows that dinner coming along
me: point is, i just think you’re someone who likes the chase, and the fact that i’m not there is close enough to any chase, and the minute i AM there, you’re gone.
him: no thats not true. i hate the chase. if you were here id come hang out with you right now
me: which would be pointless considering my main point to begin with. i was still in jersey a little over a year ago. it didnt phase you.
him: i would do things different if i could…i’ve made mistakes i know im not perfect
me: but you’re forgetting how much you do this. last time i spoke to you i was in london. you called me, said you missed me so much… then i dont hear from you again. its when the feeling hits you that you decide to want me. you dont want me, miss me, or even like me, as much as a guy should that wants to be with me.
him: im in a relationship…it would be different if i didnt have feelings for someone else and was able to fully act on things
me: exactly my point. you are in a relationship and love someone else. not me. so WHY are you constantly talking to me about this if thats the case?
him: bc you’re the one i let get away
me: i’m sorry but there’s no point in bringing it up or talking about it if you cant act on it or change it, much less want to. so thats that. its in the past now. i know people who dated 3,000 miles away that are now married. if you want it bad enough, you make it happen. im just a novelty to you bc i was a great hookup. if it was more, it would be more. i mean, it is what it is.
him: you are more…and you’ll see eventually
me: yea. from a guy that won’t let me go
him: you’ll see jessica
me: i dont know what this youll see thing is all about with you right now
him: and ps: you still are the sexiest girl i’ve ever met in my life time lol
me: thanks
him: you are ;)
me: doesn’t change anything
him: lol i know

story of my life. i’m always the girl that is “tempting”. i’m always the girl that you want when you have someone else. i’m always the girl that you regret not committing to when you had the chance.
but guess what? i’m NOT that girl. i’m better than that. and this conversation is pretty much a duplicate of a majority of conversations i’ve had in my life with guys.
if you have a girlfriend, don’t bother me.
if you have a girlfriend that you dont want to be with but you stay with her because its convenient or you’re afraid she’s gonna kill herself if you break up… DONT BOTHER ME.
if you can’t stop thinking about me, and think i’m this amazing thing and completely different from any woman you’ve ever known, YET YOU DON’T WANT TO TAKE A CHANCE AND DATE ME….don’t bother me.
cause you aren’t getting another chance if its not good enough to take the first time… and dont fool yourself into thinking you will.
if a guy has a girlfriend, and says i’m the sexiest girl he’s ever known… that guy should not be with his girlfriend. PERIOD.
i’m also not a second choice.
i’m THE choice, first and foremost, and i will never play second fiddle to ANY other female.
and thats why, the guy that i’m SUPPOSED to be with one day… the one who truly is meant for me, and vice versa… THAT guy will take that chance. THAT guy will not be afraid of commitment. THAT guy will want me… always… and not when he realizes the person he IS with is NOTHING like me. and THAT guy will see immediately… you know what… this is a good woman, i’m not gonna risk letting her go. BECAUSE THERE ARE VERY FEW WOMEN LEFT THAT ARE GOOD, and that couldn’t be more true.

in other words… it takes a lot for me to have an interest in someone.
a lot.
i’m really picky the older i get because i know exactly what i want and exactly what i dont want.
so if you’re all about me, and i’m all about you… take it.
because i don’t move backwards and it WILL NOT come around again.

there’s my rant.
end scene!